Pass It On Or The Orphan Gets It

I found this gem among my facebook notes a while back and wanted to share it with the rest of you who aren't my [close] friends:

Dearest friends and allies, loved ones and the aloof, acquaintances and crew members, this is for you:

I'm tired of chain letters. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Of course, they're not a problem here on facebook, but you see them all the time via email and *shudder* MySpace bulletins. Frankly, they're just plain obnoxious.

Some tell about a girl who was murdered, so I should pass it on to ten friends so her misfortune doesn't pass to me. Others tell me how much a person cares about me, and if I don't pass it on to enough people, I obviously live the life of a destitute hermit who will never be happy. Others still will simply cause my true love to call me at four in the morning and profess their love to me if I pass the letter on, while failure results in lifelong unhappiness.

Anyone notice a trend? No, for once, I'm not pointing at the obvious reference to the Christian mindset of eternal damnation upon my failure to act for repentance.

No, I need to comment on the lack of humanity and common decency inherent in these letters, which I doubt lack any sort of mystical quality once translated into an electronic format (though I'm not one to take chances with the occult). Figure it out yet?

Well, here's a little something about me you might not all realize. I have a very open mind when it comes to the occult and mystic. I am also very cautious regarding such things. I don't disturb grave markers/ruins, I'm very careful around abandoned buildings and such places where spirits might be bound, and I greatly respect the spirits of others and those of Nature. But I don't pass on chain letters, at risk of life and limb and soul.

Why?

Because who the fuck would send something that might bring about eternal damnation to their friends? It's just cruel and thoughtless. And if there is no risk, and it's just a bunch of bullshit, then WHY THE HELL IS IT CLOGGING MY INBOX STILL?

I just don't understand. Superstition should not supersede common sense. DON'T SEND CHAIN LETTERS WITH BAD RESULTS. DON'T SEND THEM AT ALL, UNLESS YOU TRULY MEAN WHAT THEY SAY. I know, I'm acting like it's a matter of life and death. "Kyle, it's just an email. Chill the fuck out." Well, what can I say? It's messed up however you look at it.